Talking with Ty about….


Counseling…. *takes deep breathe* I’m about to get real deep for a brief second. This is almost an unspoken language in a African-American home. (Not all, but most). I think most blacks have this unwritten rule somewhere that it’s bad to seek help or talk to people outside the home about issues. I have heard a million times “Keep my business in my house, don’t tell nobody what go on in my house” which is okay but when hearing that from a small child repeadetly this sticks and hard!!! I think counseling is seen as a sign of weakness for whatever reason. The black community is in denial about a lot of things and feel that they themselves can fix any issue going on. Why is it so bad to want to speak to a professional who is trained or can help you deal with it? I for one have no issue laying on  that “big comfy couch” and venting my life away! An outide opinion is nice sometime. I’ve found so many things out about myself in these last few months that people wouldn’t believe! I’ve gotten the same response from most people when I tell them I go to counseling or I have a life coach and that is: “Why, are you crazy!” ……. ummm no! and this is how I prevent that. These are the same ones sitting on the couch every Sunday watching Iyanla: “Fix my Life” and bawling on the couch becuase they had a similar situation. We can sit home each and everyday holding grudges, being confused or lost and not know why or they know why and are in denial about it. We hold onto to secrets, we hold on to hurt for years until it’s too late and we explode. Every family has its’ isuues, things that happen that no one want to talk about, personal struggles that we hide within to appear strong. Holding it in an do more bad than good, trust me! I’m working on a new me and I’m proud of the woman I’m becoming! You have to know where you come from to get to where you’re going. I’m a firm believer in that. Why do we wait for someone to go all ape shit on someone and then say “Oh! he/she been crazy.” We know these things and choose to ignore them. I just don’t get it! I don’t feel it’s anything to be ashamed of. It’s not admitting that you’re sick. it’s acknowledging that you see something is wrong or hurting you and you want to get help with it before it gets worse. I have to be the best me I can be for my son, family, friends, significant other, etc… I’m working on me and I this has made me a better person. I have occassinal slip ups but who doesn’t? I’ve learned how to deal with certain situations and even checked myself  when I have went too far. Sometimes friends or family can’t help but an outside unbiased person who will be real with you can. Just think about it. Hurt people, hurt people. That is ne of the most true statements I’ve heard. Get you together by any means necessary. If you can’t afford it. Read, write, just get it out your system. Keep your mind and spirit healthy.  =.)

“One of the ways people avoid taking responsibility for thier role in their own pain is what I call BPs – blame and projection.”           – Iyanla Vanzant

“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.”                               -Iyanla Vanzant



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DahnaBoo
    Oct 09, 2013 @ 19:45:12

    This is a great read Babe, I’m proud of you & your personal gains. Keep striving to be better each day.


  2. kingjames2424
    Oct 10, 2013 @ 13:56:23

    WOW!! That was inspiring!!


  3. tracy
    Oct 11, 2013 @ 18:59:23

    Love this ms.Ty please never stop being you!


  4. CourtG610
    Oct 15, 2013 @ 01:21:11

    This is such an inspiring article. You have hit the nail on the head. I do believe in the power of counseling. I have a life couch and our sessions are a roadmap to help me understand past hurt, present dilemmas and set future goals. Thank you for sharing!


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